I was wallowing in pain

When suddenly you came.

In my room, i’m grasping for words.

With heavy tears rampaging

Like flood brought by typhoon Pepeng,

I’m drowning in lost emotions.

Like a wrecked vessel, I can’t float

Like a shivering bird, i can’t fly

Like a frail creature, i can’t move

Like a dead river, i can’t flow

As a vulnerable being,

I’m totally crippled.

With a sudden look in your eyes,

I gaze for an answer

And like a lightning,

It came flashing

Right at my very own eyes

...you are but my knight in shining armour!

By staring at you from a distance

The yearning keeps growing

In a wink of an eye

I kissed your lips with passion

That abrupt episode of your being

Kept you standing, bewildered.

In a split of a second, you pushed me away

Feeling of disbelief clouded my memory

I kissed you, and you didn’t like it

I was in great dismay

Yet the best part occurred

...i woke up in a dreadful dream.

___________________________________________________________________________

Note to the public: The above entry was inspired by a disgusting dream the writer had last night.

Our internet connection here at home is still unstable ‘till today. As a matter of fact, it is still useless up to this very minute while im writing this entry. And it’s been two weeks now. Anyhow, i still want to write something now and will just post this entry if ever beloved LINKSYS (our connection) won’t forbid us internet connection sooner or later. The thing is, i can’t get enough thoughts right now. It must be the song currently playing on my media player or it must be my lack-of-thing-to-write-but-still-want-to-keep-my-mind-running sickness attacking me at the moment. Well, the usual me.

This useless internet connection however is doing me good somehow. See, i can fully concentrate on my current reading of the book of John although i still need intercession (yeah, that’s serious) to fully understand what each and every line says. But what can i do? Well, wait and see.....hehe. At least i have something worthwhile in times of “internet turbulence/tropical line depression/bad internet connection/unsecured link”...........or some other disgusting words you may call it.

Isn’t it obvious that the writer is distressed of the current condition? Lol

Something worthwhile indeed since it doesn’t matter whether internet connection is there or not to keep me awake until this very moment. Its past 12 midnight and i thought i can sleep early today!!! After this nonsensical entry, I guess nothing is worthwhile after all, better sign off now.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

It's been three weeks now that Bern and I missed our "weekly friday chat session for our bible study". It's because of her busy career way back there and her being an all around servant...........means as a careerwoman and at the same time servant of God by all means.

Anyway, i'm still into trouble finishing the book of John which im currently reading right now. Haayyy, I know sometimes i missed my daily quiet time but i'm trying to make up for those missing time though. At least i'm trying. Only God knows when can i rate myself 7/7...hehe.

It's a known fact and its based on experience also that this internet sometimes sucks! Lack of self control means losing some of my precious time and concentrating too much on things not so important.....specifically internet(if used for some useless crap) although i think im saving certain portion of my time now. Imagine, i managed to get away from famous facebook which means i have an account but most of the time couldn't even spare time to open it. This is after getting over with friendster addiction. Of course, im not talking of absolute things here. These time-stealers as I may call it (like tv, internet, movies, etc) are still main ingredients of most people's daily menu if we talk about getting away from boredom and routine Doha life......yeah right. What is most important of all is having a little discipline while seeking for little quality time. A little of it can make a difference.

Actually it's been my constant prayer to always have a quality time. May it be time with my friends/housemates, work, malling(window shopping perhaps), watching tv, internet and most especially reading His words. Just a little of it and it will be a fantastic journey.

Have you ever experienced that moment wherein many things or ideas are suddenly flooding into your mind yet you still can't figure out what to write because your mind cannot really capture the real cravings of your thoughts since you are so distracted of so many happenings around and you don't even know what exactly are those that you rather deliberately write something which somewhat comes out of nowhere and out of insanity which in fact you yourself can't even figure out what and how things come into progress despite an attempt to rationalize and avoid them and after which you just realized you've been writing an exceptionally very disappointing write-up believing that no one would ever read and could ever notice that you are again fondled by your insane vision?

Ganyanangepektopagnasainsanitymodeangnagsusulatbungangbagyongsiondoy.

Today there is something extraordinary. Ows? Hehe....actually just a birthday of a special friend. Indeed? How special? Well....maybe special in a sense that she is a special child? haha. Or better yet in a sense that she is specially made to adore a special person which happens to be special only in her own way of recognizing it. Peace my friend, if you happen to read this nonsensical entry...hehe.

Anyway last night we just had a little surprise to this special child. We blindfolded her, gave her a big stuffed toy (a replacement to teddy, bleh) and prepared a very special dance number (really? not awkward huh?) to her. And we had a lot of fun accompanied by little tears from this special child. To top it all, everybody enjoyed the night along with the shisha and a simple game called truth or truth, instead of truth or consequence...haha.

And this afternoon, again we had a little gathering at Aspire park with some of the special child's housemates, closest friends and colleagues. A little bit tiring day yet full of chit chats, eating, eating and eating. Sorry that i couldn't elaborate fully the happenings since i'm a bit tired. Don't worry guys, sooner or later i would dare to make another entry especially for this special child. It's her big day today. I wish her happiness and more blessings in life.

And for you special child: You're such a special creation so im hoping that you would be happy in everything that you do and may your heart's desire be fulfilled and answered by Him.

Habertdey shie!