Was the word compromise left out at somewhere? I hope it was but today isnt different from yesterday, i haven't made any difference at all. I am still compromising. I am still "deeply rooted" (as i always say) to where i stand and sit for the moment. I am still clinging to the old-fashioned-follow-what-your-heart-desire line when in fact i can do much better, can climb to a much higher level and can get out of a rotten and never-in-my-wildest-dream-have-i-ever-entered-kingdom where i belong. I am so helpless, so restless. The devotion should somehow be conquered and revived. The commitment that once overshadowed my brain should somehow be analyzed and rekindled. The battle between principle and practicality makes me shiver. I am confronted by the reality. I am so deep however shallow. Its hard to assess my known or maybe unknown self. Reassessment should be done within me. Its not all a matter of commitment but a more qualified phrase. Let's put it - commitment to what is good and just. Should i leave the past and pursue the future now or wait for the right time. But when is the right time? when should i start being vigilant? when should i practice the teachings i have found appropriate to be practiced, when is the most difficult word i could ever answer.